I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
