also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
