I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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