so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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