He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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