So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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