I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
BRING THE BAGELS
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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