She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
True strength comes from lack of pants
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
