I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
