My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I love you. Go after that dick
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