I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
