Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
