He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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