He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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