OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize