May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
