can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
