I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
