he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
