Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
