She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The chlamydia really affected his face.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
