Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
