i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
and she was petting her beer can
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
