dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Also, beer. Big fan.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
