i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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