guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
