You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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