I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
