If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize