i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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