Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
