i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
