the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
