He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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