A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
