I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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