Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
