I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
