come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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