Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
