Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
