Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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