He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
