Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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