dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
