exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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