all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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