No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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