I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
