and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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