Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
