I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
