This is not my ceiling
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
