I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I had to cum in my sink.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
