does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
