i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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