That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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