Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
