Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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