Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
