whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
